Moment of the Day

My moment of the day is slightly different today. Usually it’s something I physically saw in front of me that stood out as something significant in some sort of way. Today it’s not something so physical. But more so a realization. One worthy of being significant and recognized, at least worthy to be recognized by me, as it pertains to myself. I was with a group of people I am not too familiar with, and I’ve met with this group a couple times now and everyone else knows each other, and have for years. Easily putting me as the outsider who has no idea what their inside jokes mean. Their not bad people, rude people or any of that sort. They seem nice. But that’s not exactly what I am focusing on. What stood out was the fact that they were able to speak openly and recall things that have happened in their lives in great detail. They were connected with the people around them, with their memories and their emotions. I on the other hand, sat there nervous for when I needed to speak, because I couldn’t recall such details about a certain time of my life. I have a few things that I remember, but other than that, it’s blurry. It’s almost as if I blacked out, or blocked out a good portion of my life experiences. I remember most of the rough times, but not a lot of the in between. I can’t describe a specific moment thoroughly and I certainly can’t tell you exactly what I felt at that moment, or even exactly how I feel today. That, I realized has set me apart from this group of people, I’m not connected.  And realizing this, has been significant because in this moment I’ve learned more about myself and what is at the root of some of the confusion I’ve had.